Just another night covering Pittsburgh Steelers training camp in Latrobe. The workday is done. The quotes are transcribed. The photos are attached. The stories are filed.
Let’s have a beer or two at Sharky’s, watch the Pirates lose again and call it a night. Rinse. Wash. Repeat in the morning.
That’s when everyone I was with Tuesday evening looked down at their phones. The alerts buzzed.
“Trending: Red Sox announcers rip Pirates!”
Oh? Do tell!
As the Pirates were losing 5-3 to the Red Sox at PNC Park on Tuesday night, NESN broadcasters Dave O’Brien and Dennis Eckersley tore into the Pirates lineup, their roster construction and their general state of existence.
Dennis Eckersley on the Pirates (build roster, payroll, etc):
“You talk about a no-name lineup. There’s no team like this.”
“This is a hodgepodge of nothingness.”
“It’s ridiculous. It really is. Pathetic.” pic.twitter.com/qwPBnmkDTD
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) August 17, 2022
“You talk about a no-name lineup. There’s no team like this,” Eckersley said. “I’d love to see some of the service time when you add it all up. It’s not much. We just came from Kansas City, seeing all of those young kids. This is different, though. Doesn’t it seem different? … This is a hodgepodge of nothingness.”
I mean, has there ever been a more honest, more direct, more specific disembowelment of a professional sports franchise than that?
“A hodgepodge of nothingness” should be emblazoned on the jumbotron every night when the Pirates introduce their starting lineup.
I’m going to rename my fantasy football team “Hodgepodge of Nothingness” in honor of Dennis Eckersley.
But wait! There’s more.
“It’s ridiculous. It really is. Pathetic,” Eckersley continued.
Hey Dennis. My name is Tim. Do you have the other half of this amulet by any chance?
Keep in mind, these guys are doing play-by-play for another MLB team that is in last place of its division, just like the Pirates. Also keep in mind that their team is spending money to try to win ($207 million), but they just have failed miserably at trying.
There is a difference. A big one. The Pirates payroll is $68.5 million, 28th in baseball.
Furthermore, Eckersley is an MLB Hall of Famer. O’Brien is one of the best play-by-play announcers in the business.
By the way, these guys know Pirates general manager Ben Cherington. They were on the call for the 2013 team that Cherington put together to win the World Series in Boston. But that’s not dulling their opinion of what’s going on here.
In a weird way, it feels good to have someone else from another market say it, so we don’t feel like we are the only ones screaming into the void.
Am I wrong? Are they? I think you know that the answer to both questions is “no”!
Welcome to “Pirates Baseball 2022 — a hodgepodge of nothingness” on the North Shore.
Tim Benz is a Tribune-Review staff writer. You can contact Tim at email@example.com or via Twitter. All tweets could be reposted. All emails are subject to publication unless specified otherwise.